hypeforni

作者被情景喜剧洗脑后一些对于三米和丁丁日常对话的事实揭露大胆猜测

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不甜不要钱

0124阿丁生贺part 1

01

梗源Brooklyn 99

Sam: I want to show you a picture from last night that really upset me.

Dean: Okay but in my defense, Jo bet me 50 cents that I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Sam: That's not what I wanted to-

Sam: YOU DRANK SHAMPOO?! 

 

02

Dean: If I died, how much would you miss me? 

Sam: It's cute that you think death can get you out of this relationship.

 

03

Dean: Hello? 911? I accidentally stepped on my brother Sammy's foot and I need to be arrested. 

Operator: No Mr. Winchester, we've spoken about this. 

 

04

Dean, on the phone with Sam: I can handle some "me" time. Please, how pathetic do you think I am?

[20 minutes later]

Dean: I'm so pathetic. 

 

05

Someone opens their mouth: 

Dean: *sweating , nervous laughter* I'm not gay. *points at Sam*He's just my little brother. 

 

06  

Sam: I can fit my whole world in the palm of my hands. 

Dean: Well that's impos-

Sam: *Cups Dean's face*

Dean: *Blushing* Sammy! I have a reputation!

 

07

梗源Brooklyn 99

Dean: Desperate times call for Deperate Housewives.

Sam: What?

Dean: Measures. I said measures.

 

08

Cass: *sneezes* 

Dean: Bless you man.

Sam: *sneezes*

Dean: Sammy, are you okay? Here, let me wrap you up in a blanket and hand-feed you some warm soup. 

Ruby: *sneezes*

Dean: Oh my god. Shut the fuck up. 

 

09

Sam, about Dean: If my brother thinks he can just bat his pretty green eyes at me and get whatever he wants-

Dean: *bats his eyes*

Sam: -he's absolutely right. 

 

10

Sam and Dean: 3, 2, 1...happy new year! *starts kissing*

Cass: Guys it's not even midnight yet please stop making out every time the microwave goes off. 

 

11

Dean: I hate going to the kitchen and realizing I am the only snack in the house. 

Sam: 

 

12

Dean: You are such a dork. You know what? A total loser. 

Sam: Then let go of my hand. 

Dean: *gripping tighter* No. 

 

13

Bobby: I AM LOST FOR WORDS!

Dean, to Sam: *narrating* Despite being lost forwords, he yelled at us for 10 minutes. 

 

14

Preschool teacher: Sam/Dean said a bad word in class.

John: Where the fuck did he learn that?

 

15

Cass, texting Dean: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND SAM?

Dean, replying: WE'RE FUCKING

Dean: GETTING[not delivered]

Dean: DRINKS[not delivered]

Cass: Oh, never mind then.

Dean: WAIT[not delivered]

 

16

Jo: I dare you to kiss the next person walks into this room. 

Sam: I'm not gonna just kiss anyo-

Dean: *walks in*

Sam: Okay FINE. I'LL DO IT. I'll kiss Dean. But ONLY because you DARED me to. 

Jo:   

 

17

Therapist: On a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you like your brother? 

Sam: Somewhere between "fuck him" and "I'd fuck him". 

 

18

Dean:*acting scandled* I wasn't up all night!

Sam: I was woken up by you mimicking Dr. Sexy every 20 minutes. 

 

19

Sam: What are you looking at?

Dean, taking a quiz online to find out what flavor of pie he is: Porn.  

 

20

Dean: What's the word for horny but not in a sexual way? Like I'm horny for Conor's Diner but I don't want to fuck an apple pie. You feel?

Sam: Do you mean "excited"? 

TBC